Day 1 ~ Where to start?

A year ago...
Unlike Miss Positive, energetic me... I had a little melt down . Ok- a big melt down. Bill & I sat down and talked. Talked about all those thoughts and feelings I had not yet completely understood. I shared with Bill how much I miss that little "something" in my lap... to rock, to read to, to snuggle with. The Candy Land. The crazy children's television television shows and songs. The smell of play dough. Our 11 and 18 year old frown on those things ?? We discussed our options~ we can either get a dog (not real into Candy Land or play dough??), or find a way to have another child ;) Well, 3 humane societies later, there was NO dog to be matched. Coupled with that- my 40 year old obgyn appt- my doc sharing the news with us that I knew was coming. After many years of trying, the chances of us 'biologically' having another baby were slim to none. Our journey towards Lillian Grace started. For anyone who is familiar with the adoption road.. it is long and weary road. I distinctly remember the evening sitting at a Mexican restaurant with Bill. I had told him about the countless hours I had spent researching children waiting to be adopted. When my sister became pregnant last year, our daughter suggested she call her baby Lilly. At the time, it was shrugged off, and Kelsey continued to love that name. We left the restaurant that cold, November evening- and Bill said" Hon, SHOW me what you have found on adopting a child." We couldn't get home fast enough. The countless hours of going through opictures, profiles, stories-- I had lots to share. As I quickly logged into our aol account, it stated "You have mail." The email happened to be from one of the MANY adoption agencies I had viewed "waiting children" on. It happened to be the very first email (after months of surfing) from an adoption agency- and its title read~ "Child match- Lilly needs you." We opened the email to a beautiful little African American girl. After inquiring, we found out she was a "poster child" for the many children out there waiting for a home. So, our search began. Together, we viewed countless photos of children that deserve a good, loving home. In the end, one precious face kept coming back. Our "Lilly":) I have always told Bill if I were to have a baby at 40+, and he/she had Downs syndrome... I would feel Blessed to be called Mom. Both Bill & I are 18+ years in education, and have spent many years with children with disabilities. To us-- they are not disabilities. They are abilities. As we continue our journey to Jin Yu/ Lilly... our hearts race with joy and excitement. Every day that passes is another day closer. We call it a roller coaster of a journey- but one that will be well worth the ride! We are truly Blessed!